If you have been asking yourself, “Why does my husband not talk to me about personal stuff? ” You are in the right place. In this guide, I will share some reasons why a husband fails to talk to his wife and what you can do when your husband won’t talk to you.
Note: Some links in this post are affiliate links, meaning that if you click through and proceed to make a purchase, I will get a commission at no extra cost to you. Read more on our disclaimer here
Reasons why your husband won’t talk to you
1. He is going through personal issues
Your husband could be going through issues like loss, work pressure, financial constraints, and mental health issues, among others. If you are aware of any problems in his personal life, the best course of action is to support him through the difficulty.
You can support him through prayers, listening to him without judgment, and offering support where necessary. If your husband is going through mental health issues like depression, consider seeing your healthcare provider for professional advice.
2. Your marriage is going through difficulties at the moment
Your husband could be ignoring you because of marriage issues.
For example, he could be resentful because of something you have done, struggling with guilt because of something he has done, or fed up with the marriage. Whatever the issue, lack of communication will only make things worse. If your husband’s silence is a result of marriage issues, then I highly recommend seeking professional advice from a marriage counselor.
Pray for the Holy Spirit’s discernment.
3. He feels disrespected
In a survey in Shaunti Feldhanhn’s book ’For Women Only,’ 74% of men chose the option that they would rather feel alone and unloved in the world than inadequate and disrespected. Disrespect, especially from his wife, can be very sensitive to a man’s ego.
Observe how you communicate with your husband. Do you constantly use words or body language that could be deemed disrespectful? If that’s the case, ask the Holy Spirit to help you overcome this behavior and genuinely apologize to your husband.
4. He doesn’t feel valued
Disrespect and feeling unvalued are closely related but a little bit different. Some wives can discourage their husbands from sharing because of how they respond.
For example, when a husband shares some plans or a sensitive topic with his wife, and the wife dismisses his ideas as irrelevant or unrealistic, this may discourage him from sharing. Furthermore, he may withhold more important details in the future for fear of rejection.
Were there times you constantly shot down your husband’s ideas in the past? If that’s the case, you can remedy the situation by genuinely complimenting your husband’s accomplishments. Compliments about his masculine qualities are even more powerful.
5. He doesn’t trust you
Can your husband trust you to keep a secret? Your husband could be withholding information from you because he doesn’t trust you to keep it. Watch how much you share and consider the kind of information you are giving to outsiders.
6. He genuinely doesn’t know what to say
Have you considered the fact that he has no idea what to say?
For the introverted husband who rarely shares, try to learn his interests and get him to talk about them first. Over time, as you have more conversations about topics he loves, he will also start sharing about other things.
7. You need better timing for discussion
One other reason your husband could refuse to talk is terrible timing. For example, initiating a serious or stressful conversation immediately after your husband comes home from work could get you a very negative reaction. For starters, you have yet to learn what kind of day he had and the sort of people he had to deal with during the day, among other things.
Create the right environment before having a difficult conversation. Remember what Esther did when she needed to talk to her husband about a serious issue? She prayed, fasted for three days, dressed to impress her husband, and held him a banquet. Read (Esther chapter 4-8)
How to identify the reason your husband is not talking to you
1. Pray that God shows you
Ask the Holy Spirit, who knows your marriage better than anyone else, to show you the problem. Once you have identified the issue, pray about it and make any necessary changes. If need be, let your husband know his part of the problem calmly and respectfully. Then, continue to cover the issue in prayer until it’s completely resolved.
Get The Printable Wife Prayer Kit Now!
If you are a wife who wants to pray for her husband but is finding it hard consider getting our wife prayer kit. These printables will motivate you to remember to pray and cover issues you may forget to pray for.
What you get:
- Prayer Challenge with prayer prompts
- Motivation to pray
- Aesthetic prayer and affirmation cards for your bedside table
- Easy to follow
- Instant access
Download, print to get started
2. Ask your husband directly why he doesn’t want to talk
When I ask women to pray over issues in their marriage, sometimes they mistakenly think that I’m telling them not to communicate issues with their husbands. On the contrary, I want you to pray first, then communicate. When you pray first, God will give you the right words and prepare your hearts for the conversation.
Before you initiate this conversation with your husband, please remember that his reasons for not speaking to you are valid and meaningful to him. It’s important not to criticize or dismiss him when he shares his perspective. Instead, strive to be empathetic and work together to find a solution. This approach will allow your husband to be vulnerable and more open with you in the future.
3. Observe your interaction with him
Sometimes, couples try to leave each other clues about their distress through their behavior. While this method is unhealthy and discouraged, you can still use it to identify why your husband is not sharing.
For example, if you touch on a sensitive matter, your husband can get irritable, angry, or withdrawn; it may be your culprit. Pray over it and bring it up with your husband as the spirit leads.
4. Consider consulting a marriage counselor
Sometimes, your husband may be willing to share his issues with someone else. A Professional marriage counselor can help you both.
#Ad
What to do when your husband doesn’t want to talk to you
Now that you know how to identify reasons your husband is not talking to you, here are some things you can do to encourage your husband to talk.
1. Pray for God’s intervention, guidance, forgiveness, repentance, etc.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.
1. Proverbs 3:5-6 GNT
Learning to pray for your husband’s communication is vital so that the LORD will direct your path.
2. Make a plan to change necessary habits.
A good wife is her husband’s pride and joy; but a wife who brings shame on her husband is like a cancer in his bones.
2. Proverbs 12:4 GNT
For example, if your husband is quiet because of disrespect, try as much as possible to stop the disrespectful habits one by one and replace them with respectful habits.
3. Apologize where necessary.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…
2. Proverbs 12:4 GNT
If your husband is not talking because of something you did, tell him how sorry you are and work to create a reasonable plan together.
4. Forgive.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 NIV
Satan can use resentment and unforgiveness to hold your whole marriage down. Ask God to help you forgive your husband for anything affecting how you treat him.
5. Make him feel special/ accepted and valued.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18 NIV
If your husband is experiencing personal struggles, such as a demotion at work, financial difficulties, low self-esteem, etc., build him up with affirming words. (Proverbs 12:18,15:4)
6. Schedule fun time.
So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 8:15 NLT
Your marriage could have grown dull because neither of you is trying to make it exciting. Make plans to re-ignite the passion you once felt. If you need help figuring out where to start, looking back to your courtship days can give you some pointers. No matter how much you have changed as a couple, your shared fun memories can spark your marriage. Make more memories.
7. Pray for your husband all around.
…The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective
James 5:16 NIV
As we have seen, your husband could be ignoring you due to other issues in his life. Therefore, it is essential to pray for all parts of his life.
Even if you can identify why your husband is not talking to you, it is still important to pray for him constantly. The Bible says that our struggle is not against flesh and blood. It means that you and your husband could be struggling with spiritual battles. Invite God into His life, and He will make his path straight.
If you are a wife who wants to pray for her husband but doesn’t know where to start or finds it difficult to pray, consider taking our 21-day Prayer Challenge. It is a guided prayer journal with scripture, sample prayers, and prayer points to fill in your own. Download the digital file, print it, and bind it to start journaling your prayers.